Self Renovation

Jan 14, 2021

I was excited to listen to Brené Brown’s new Dare to Lead episode on Culture Renovation.  As I listened intently, I found myself making connections with how we should renovate our own inner, true self.  I tend to use the word transformation when I talk about personal growth and development.  What struck me was that we really should be focusing on self renovation as opposed to self transformation.  I am intrigued by this new perspective which ignited a number of comparisons that came to light for me between Culture Renovation and Self Renovation.   

I won’t summarize the 18 steps broken into each of the three phases outlined in the book.  What I would enjoy sharing is my own insight that came to mind as I listened to this podcast regarding the deep work we seek to do within ourselves to accomplish what we truly desire.  The feeling of being good enough, fulfilled, aligned with our passions and the energy that gives us the most joy and satisfaction to reach our fullest potential and accomplish our dreams.   

Transformation can imply that you throw everything out and start from new.  What I like about renovation is that you want to keep what is good and build from there.  It is knowing the parts of you — characteristics, strengths, attributes – that make you, You.  Keep those, nurture them, strengthen what gives you energy, and continue to build upon that strong foundation.   

The first phase in Culture Renovation is to PLAN.  One of the initial steps is to develop and deploy a listening strategy.  The listening strategy for ourselves is to come into consciousness of our thoughts and actions, or reactions, to situations.  To become self aware of those voices and limiting beliefs that keep you from accomplishing your goals and who you ultimately want to be.  

The second phase is to BUILD.  Figure out what to keep and build on it.  What are your strengths?  What gives you energy and fulfillment?  Within corporations there can be a mindset that knowledge is power.  Power over others even.  What are the thoughts that have built up inside you that have power over your own potential and truth?  What is the fear that holds you back from leaning into being your authentic self?  The mindset should be knowledge sharing.  Sharing the wisdom, being supportive and building upon each other’s strengths.  I witness people sharing more openly about their own vulnerabilities and personal growth opportunities.  The more we can come together and realize we are not alone and share our life lessons, the more we can build confidence by walking this growth path together in support of one another.          

Change is also difficult.  It is hard to think about doing things differently.  Disrupting what we know how to do, our schedules and routines, control of our environment.  Changing habits, thoughts and beliefs is painful to overcome.  This deep inner work is truly the most difficult work you’ll ever do.  You are not your thoughts (period!).  Yet that is who you’ve come to believe yourself to be.  To really dig into discovering who you are at your core is scary.  We’ve spent our entire life layering up and being molded by our experiences and the people in our life.  As you start to peal those layers back, take off the armor that has been built up – Who are you really?  Is it easier and safer to direct attention elsewhere?  To criticize and judge others instead of looking within for what can be done to build your own strength, resilience and mental agility.  Keep what is good, what is your true self.  Let go of what’s holding you back and be open to change so you can reach the point of being the best version of you that you can possibly be.   

As we start the new year, many of us write down our personal goals and intentions for the year ahead.  It can be very similar to a company’s vision and mission statement.  We make a creative visual of our purpose and values, but then fail to really think through how that looks and feels on a daily basis.  How do you truly live in alignment with your True North, your personal mission statement?  What are you working towards being and becoming?  What habits do you need to break and what boundaries do you need to create?  How do you behave when there is a disturbance or set back in your day?  What judgment or criticism do you display when uncomfortable or triggered by a situation?  What keeps you from being at your best?  All of these questions, and more, are what we need to get curious and ask ourselves if we really want to work on our own self renovation.   

Another point of comparison is finding your influencers.  Grow your network and support group that will have a positive impact on helping you accomplish the change and inner growth you are seeking.  Build your personal board of directors and ambassadors.  Those magnetic energizers that help pull you through when you’re ready to give up.  Don’t try to do it alone – seek the sponsorship of others.  This may also lead to taking a hard look at the people you are spending the most time with on a regular basis.  Are any of them bringing you down instead of filling you up?  Are they working against what you’re working so hard to build?  Who is bringing you negative energy versus positive flow?  I suspect we all have people very close to us that we need to take a pause from or let go of, which is a difficult action to address.      

 
The last phase is MAINTAIN.  How do you know when the work is complete?  It’s not.  It will never be done.  If your desire is to continue to learn and grow, we will constantly be evolving to become more and more in alignment to our true self and higher power.   We will become more aware, more present and grateful, living each day in the NOW.    

So how do you measure progress, not perfection, toward your self renovation?  That is the main point. Progress, not perfection!  Sit in stillness with this thought of who you want to be and how you want to feel each and every day, as your goal.  What does that look like as far as a daily ritual?  How do you catch yourself when you’re frazzled, triggered, knocked out of alignment?  How quickly are you able to identify those negative thoughts and behaviors and get yourself back into a grounded state of calmness and clarity?  How do you learn to just let go?  How do you strengthen your mind, body and soul to be your most divine self?  The work is exponentially difficult, but it is absolutely attainable and fulfilling!   


Inspired by Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead podcast on Spotify – Culture Renovation, with Kevin Oakes 

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